Valley Voice: Of sticks and stones and words that do harm
There was once a holy man who came to a village. The villagers warned him that he must not go along a certain path because a venomous snake which had killed many people lived there.
“It won’t hurt me,” said the holy man, and continued in the direction of the snake’s abode. Sure enough, the snake approached, reared its head ready to strike, but when it saw the holy man it prostrated itself humbly at his feet.
The sage taught the snake to give up biting and killing people. Knowing the snake was now harmless, the boys of the village would attack it was sticks and stones. After a time the snake grew so weak from its injuries that it could scarcely crawl.
When next the holy man came to the village, he heard about the snake’s condition. Going to its hole, he called it forth.
Hearing his teacher’s voice, the snake came squirming out crippled from the blows it had received and terribly thin because it was not getting enough to eat.
The holy man questioned the snake about its condition.
"Revered sir,” the snake replied, “you asked me not to harm any creature so I have been living on leaves.” Having developed the virtue of forgiveness, the snake had forgotten the boys who had almost killed him.
The sage said, "No, there must be a reason other than the want of food that is responsible for your condition.”
Then the snake replied, “Oh, yes, some village boys beat me, but I wouldn’t bite them.”
The snake expected to be praised for resisting evil. To its great surprise, however, the holy man became quite cross. "How foolish you are,” he cried. “I told you not to bite. Did I tell you not to hiss?”
The moral?
In our lifetimes, we all suffer our share of sticks and stones. Sometimes turning the other cheek does not ward off the beatings. That’s when it’s time to hiss!
Hissing almost always prevents the need to strike back. Once violence is resorted to, whether defensive or not, you lose.
People (and nations) that fight have been defeated before the first blow is struck. They have lost their humanity and retreated to their animal past. Hissing is somewhere in-between. It’s a way of saying, “Watch out – I’m capable of being a viper; don’t mess with me.”
That’s why peace-loving nations arm themselves … to keep the peace.
Before hissing, however, try smiling. A smile can be very disarming. Not a thin, little, nervous smile, and certainly not a smart-ass smirk, but a great big, open, confident smile that says, “I’m OK, you’re OK.”
It’s really hard to be mad at or suspicious of someone who wears a happy, smiling face.
Epilogue: The foregoing deals only with the first part of the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me.” The latter part of that shibboleth, I regret to say, does not reflect the hurt imposed by mean-minded users of today’s social media, or the damage done by demagogues who mount the world stage and spew disparaging words directed at cultural, ethnic and spiritual publics. Technology and would-be autocrats can turn words into weapons.
Samm Coombs of Palm Desert is a retired adman, publisher and author. Email him at scoombs@dc.rr.com.